Blind Spots

The air was hot and sticky. My clothes were soaked through with sweat from the combination of humidity and the long hike before me. The beauty of the dense jungle around me was a welcomed distraction from the temporary discomfort of the heat. I followed the small group of North Americans and Guatemalans along the trail that would lead us to a remote Guatemalan village where the kids carried water in jars balanced on their heads. (But not so remote that you couldn't find a fútbol field nearby.)

As we hiked further into the jungle, something caught my eye...something that stood out against the backdrop of the lush green that surrounded us. Concrete stairs. I remember thinking, "What in the world are concrete stairs doing here?!" They looked similar to the steep stairs you might see when you visit old Mayan ruins, only these concrete stairs were new. One of the Guatemalan pastors stopped to explain that there were people still practicing Mayan spiritism and the stairs led to the place where they would offer weekly pig sacrifices. He mentioned that some Christians have also been caught up in the resurgence of Mayan spiritism. Questions jumped to my mind: "How could this happen? How could the Christians be doing this? Did they see what they were doing?" Just as quickly as those questions began to clutter my mind another voice broke through: "And what about you, Marcie? What are the things in your American culture that are not of Me? Do you see what you are doing?" As we continued on the hike to the village, I wrestled with these questions.

That was in 2003. I am still asking myself those questions today...trying to see my culture with different eyes. Sometimes it is hard to see the answers when you are looking from the inside out. My cultural identity has influenced me - has played a part in shaping who I am and how I view things, but I don't want it to define me. The identity I hold most dear is being a child of God, adopted in to His Kingdom.

In the newest edition of Operation World, prayer challenges are listed for each country. Under the United States, one of the prayer challenges states:

Syncretism is as common in America as anywhere. In the US’s version, biblical Christianity is mixed with hyper-individualism, consumeristic materialism, moral relativism and national pride, creating a dangerous strain of faith that justifies selfishness, immorality and hubris. Pray for the ability to distinguish between what is scriptural and what is cultural.

On Sunday, as I was driving to church, I was thinking again about blind spots. Where are my blind spots? Where do I struggle with syncretism in my day to day life? Was it any coincidence that one of the challenges given by Pastor Chad in the message was “Know Scripture – not the cultural image of Jesus.” The timing of the message confirmed to me that I need to be persistent in seeking God’s Light in these areas – seen and unseen. The more difficult question for me remains: What am I going to do about the things God reveals? Stick with the comfort of my culture or move closer to His Kingdom culture?

A New Year

And we are off to the start of another new year. Are you the kind of person who enjoys making New Year's Resolutions or goals for the year ahead? Do you prefer to make goals throughout the year? Or do you avoid making resolutions at all costs? :) I usually like to reflect on the year newly passed and think about what I would like to see for the year to come, but usually I don't set too many goals. I like to set goals throughout the year as things come up and I am inspired to do so. :) Maybe this year I should resolve to use fewer smiley faces, "..." and exclamation points in my written communication...but really! Those 3 things are so much fun! And I feel like if I were talking to a friend face-to-face I would be saying things with a smile and exclamation points and I wouldn't want the conversation to end... So maybe I need to find other goals to set and leave the punctuation for another year. I'm just not ready to let those go yet.

Yesterday in church we sang a hymn that for me set the tone to this new year. I wrote the verses in the first page of my journal and thought I would share these verses with you. Here's to a New Year, led by our Great Shepherd and Savior: "For this God is our God for ever and ever; He will be our guide even to the end." Ps 48:24

All The Way My Savior Leads Me

by Fanny Crosby

All the way my Savior leads me,

What have I to ask beside?

Can I doubt His tender mercy,

Who through life has been my Guide?

Heav’nly peace, divinest comfort,

Here by faith in Him to dwell!

For I know, whate’er befall me,

Jesus doeth all things well;

All the way my Savior leads me,

Cheers each winding path I tread,

Gives me grace for every trial,

Feeds me with the living Bread.

Though my weary steps may falter

And my soul athirst may be,

Gushing from the Rock before me,

Lo! A spring of joy I see;

All the way my Savior leads me,

Oh, the fullness of His love!

Perfect rest to me is promised

In my Father’s house above.

When my spirit, clothed immortal,

Wings its flight to realms of day

This my song through endless ages:

Jesus led me all the way;

Whatever this year holds for us - good and bad - may we know and rely on the love God has for us.

Merry Christmas

Aside from keeping busy at being one of the worst bloggers in the world, I have been eagerly anticipating this Christmas season. Family, friends, snow, cold, White Christmas, that Christmas "smell", reflecting, pondering, baking, music, hope, advent, peace, Immanuel.

I wish you all a Merry Christmas...may you be aware of God's peace and hope in your midst.

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Okay, so this is not a Christmas song, but I was reminded of it again recently and had to post. Great memories are tied to this song...perhaps that's why I am posting it under Christmas. :) To all my fellow Jason Harrod music appreciators...this one is for you :)...

Becoming Fools

The summer of 2006 I was in Guatemala. For 1 of those 8 weeks my team and I were able to spend time with a group of street kids. We took them to a park. We played fútbol with them. We brought a piñata to share with them. We listened to their stories...of the dire situations that forced them into the streets. We smelled the strong stench of the glue they huffed throughout the day to numb them from their realities. We saw broken kids who craved love. And we met Italo. Italo was a Guatemalan believer who spent his free time hanging out with these hurting kids. He brought them laughter. How? Well, Italo was a clown. An actual clown. He would dress up and do routines and tricks. He would tell them about God. He would be present with them. You could see in the eyes of these kids how much they loved Italo...how much they looked up to him. And you could see in his eyes how much he loved them. We were all inspired by Italo. In February of this year, Italo died in a swimming accident.

I recently learned of a documentary being done about Italo and the work he started. It is called Becoming Fools. Take a moment and watch the trailer. I recognize the kids in this clip. These are the kids I sat next to on the bus and laughed with as they whacked that piñata. I remember well my conversations with Italo and I know God will raise up kids that he worked with to continue the ministry he started.

It is easy to be overwhelmed with all the needs that are in this world. But please don't let that keep you from making a decision to do something. Supporting this documentary project is just one small way to get involved. If God puts it on your heart to give and/or pray for this project, please do so!

We aren't guaranteed a tomorrow. "Find the hard thing in life [that God wants you to do] and do it!" Make the most of the time you are given.

Becoming Fools Teaser from Athentikos on Vimeo.

The Sound of Silence

The little circle of you who follow my blog may be wondering what I have been up to the last couple of months since my last update. Yes, I have been silent. I have actually started writing at least 5-10 different posts, but have either deleted them or left them unfinished. This has left me feeling as though I have been writing a lot, but with nothing to show for it :).

These past few months I have been enjoying farmer's markets and biking. I have been enjoying sunsets of orange and pink. I have taken a 2 mile walk in bad shoes, leaving my feet torn, and leaving me wondering about and praying for the people in the Horn of Africa who walk for days to find food for their starving children.

These past few months I have wondered about fighting slavery. I have wondered how my purchases indirectly support slavery. I have wrestled with materialism...trying to land on the side of simplicity. I have been taken by the "tomato stories." I have worked to be informed and fought against being overwhelmed.

These past few months I have enjoyed the sound of silence. It was in the silence of the 2 mile walk that God prompted me to pray for the people in the Horn of Africa. It was in the silence that God nudged my heart to hope. It was in the silence that I had space to process the overwhelming stories that fight to make each of us feel helpless.

There you go...the past few months summed up. I leave you now with another favorite song by Sandra McCracken...

A Taste of India

I've had many questions about the food that we ate in India, so I thought I would put together a slide show dedicated just to food. I don't have pictures of all the different foods we ate, but this will give you an idea of the variety. Most of what we ate was not too spicy, as they had mercy on us :). I liked the food a lot though I still need to work on mastering the art of eating with my right hand. I'm a bit messy and clumsy on that front, but it was fun to try :).

India Snapshot #455

A Typical Morning

My hand lifted to wipe away loose stands of hair that were sticking to my forehead and the heel of my hand followed, attempting to dry the sweat that had formed and was falling in drops down my face. My eyes blurred as the bright sun forced them to close for a moment. My gaze fell to the ground, where white chalk outlined the volleyball court. Beyond the court was a massive open field where the school of over 10,000 students would gather to play various sports like handball, football (soccer) and the national sport of field hockey. Students in uniforms crossed the field on their way to class, their gazes holding intently to our white faces. I waved at one line of students. The solemn stares that had been studying my face instantly changed to large grins, shy giggles and waves of hello in return. As the team warmed up before the volleyball match, students began to gather near the court, curiosity drawing them closer, closer, closer to the white chalk boundary. I turned to one group of boys, smiled, drew my hands up together near my chin and said, “Vanakkam”…my attempt at saying hello in the beautiful language of Tamil. Their eyes grew wide and their smiles, already big, grew even bigger. Did I use the word “shy” earlier? That description never entered my thoughts again for the rest of our time at the school. As soon as the greeting left my lips the boys began saying things to me all at the same time: “Where are you from?” “How are you?” “You from America?” “What is your name?” All the English they had been taught came tumbling out of their mouths in an instant as if they felt they only had seconds left to speak to me. Each one looked at me, hoping for a response to their question. Sometimes my answer wasn’t good enough for the entire group…they each wanted to ask the same question and hear my same response back to them. They wanted my eyes to focus on them, as a unique person, and to hear my words directed back at them, as a unique person. They each had names - oh how I wanted to remember each of their names! - but there were so many and some of the names were so difficult, I had to quickly let go of that hope. Instead, I prayed that my attempt to see EACH of them, to recognize them, to hear them, would be enough for this time. My answers of “Marcie” “Colorado” “America” “Volleyball” soon were interrupted by the sound of a game whistle. The boys hustled back in a line to watch the game that was soon to begin. Throughout the match, the crowd of students increased as they slowly inched closer to the white boundary line, giggling hysterically when a ball would fly out of bounds and hit one of them. I felt their hands around my chair and their faces crowding over my shoulder as I kept the score for the match on a piece of paper. My tally marks were such a curious thing for them to see and I heard them whispering and talking and explaining to each other as another point would be scored and I would mark another line on the sheet. “7, 9” one would say and the ripple of voices would go out from there “7,9”, “7,9” “7,9” until another point would be scored and the wave of voices would change to “7,10”. My hand lifted to wipe the hair and sweat away once again. It didn’t seem to do any good, but it was a habit that formed the first day I arrived. The game ended and as the girls came off the court, drenched with sweat and tired from the heat, they were surrounded by students, all wanting to ask the questions they had asked me. They just wanted to touch, be seen and get close to these girls who traveled from America to play a sport they love and offer words of love from a God who sees each of these children…a God who knows their names…a God who longs to speak to them and let them know that He loves them.

All too soon we piled into the van to take us to the next location, where we would be watched by new faces, asked the same questions, and where we would see the same hope and longing to be seen and noticed. The game would begin, the shyness would wear off and new friends would be made.

Some Quick India Notes

My first few days here it has been hard not thinking I am in Central America...perhaps that is my brain's way of processing the sights and experiences I've had thus far. I love India....and I wish I could speak Tamil :). Some of the interesting things we've experienced...

• Mega traffic jam in which a policeman went over to the driver of a truck who caused a big part of the problem and started hitting him through the open window.


• Lots of rice, curry, fish, sauces...I wish I knew all the names of the dishes.


• English is everywhere.


• Riding in small vehicles sandwiched between large buses and other vehicles...some tight squeezes in there, but boy can the people here drive! They are masters at maneuvering.


• Times with Family have been AMAZING - from rooftops with 20 youth to sitting on floors with women in upper rooms, the Spirit is evident and moving.


• Volleyball all the time - and it is actually a popular sport here. Some good competition for the girls - I think they lost the first few matches, but then again, they only have 5 players.


• The team of girls are all really positive and enjoying their time here. When awkward things happen, they have the wonderful ability to laugh about it. Great sense of humor.


• We all love the people here and are amazed and encouraged by their hearts. They are beautiful.


• All of our volleyball games have been outside on clay courts. One game was on gravel. I heard later today we will have one indoors.


• Women are definitely treated differently here.


• Today's volleyball match was at a HUGE school - 12,000 or so students. An amazing open field which had volleyball, tennis, basketball, field hockey, and handball courts. We played a boys team and the girls won :). It was the Fanta they served us at "halftime". :)


• Tomorrow we will spend the day at an orphanage.


• On Sunday after church, we went to the beach and ate at a seafood place that overlooked the ocean...or the bay...one of those two. :) It looked like the ocean to me.


• The 2 percent are a great witness in constant battles. I can explain that more later to anyone interested.

That's about it for now. Of course, there is way more I could write, but I don't have my notes with me and it would take too long to think through it all. :) I hope to write more later, but no guarantees as out schedule changes all the time :). Until the next time, much love from beautiful India...

Upcoming Trip - FAQs

Here is my chance to answer some of the questions I've been getting regarding my upcoming trip to India.

FAQs:

1. When are you going?

The team flies out on June 22 and returns to the States on July 12.

2. What will you do in India?

Aside from trying to learn some Tamil :), I will be traveling with a volleyball team. The team is made up of gals from different colleges across the U.S. They will be competing in matches and doing volleyball clinics in local schools. We will also be meeting with local Family - hopefully to learn from and encourage. My role is more of team manager/encourager. The director keeps talking about me playing some v-ball too and I keep trying to tell him that would be like putting a 4th grader on an Olympic v-ball team. No offense to all the 4th grade v-ball players out there...the gals are just head and shoulders above me skill-wise...and physically, too...as I am short.

3. Hey, did your visa ever arrive?

Yes! Just last week it arrived so I am good to go!

4. I thought you didn't like to fly...whuddup with that?

Yeah, flying is probably one of my least favorite modes of transportation. But alas, the destination on the other side is far more appealing than any fear I have. I am planning on bonding with flying on this trip, as it takes many hours to get to there...and back. Bring on the movies, books, writing time and snacks!

5. Why are you doing this?

In all honesty, I did try "ducking out" of this trip initially. But when I looked at all my reasons why I shouldn't go, they all could be traced back to fear. No way do I want to let fear make my decisions. So I prayed about it, talked to some trusted friends, and realized that this was an answer to prayer. I had been praying for a chance to spend time in another country and here was an opportunity. I love experiencing other cultures and seeing what God is doing outside of my 'lil world.

Did I miss any questions? Let me know if you have any questions I didn't address above and I will be happy to answer them!